Type-in comedy

This is another attempt of mine at creating stand-up material. I know some of these jokes are really far-fetched (the concept of dyslexic humor itself is far fetched, hehe) but what the hell. As this page states: “Please keep in mind that what follows is all presented not to exploit what is truly a problematic learning disability, but rather to have some fun with anagrammatic word play”. Note that some of the jokes were inspired from dyslexic humor or funny anagrams from the net, but the colored text is completely original.

Oh-oh-oy and a rottle of bum. This is dedicated to all the dyslexics out there. Dyslexics untie!

Let’s warm up with some trivia:
At the 2002 gay dyslexic film festival, which movie was voted best romance?
A: The mount of Conte Cristo.

Now, if you didn’t get this joke, you should check your English, especially if you’re not a native speaker. Or better yet, admit that you don’t have a sense of humor and stop reading this. :D

I was talking to a dyslexic friend of mine the other day and asked him if he’s into that Christmas spirit yet. He started freaking out, explaining that dyslexics fear Christmas. I asked him: “Why?”. He says.. “Nevermind, dude”. “No, no! I really need to understand this. Why do dyslexics fear Christmas??”. He says – “Didn’t you hear? Satan’s coming to town!”

By the way, ever had a conversation with a dyslexic on an instant messaging program? I’m telling you, those are the weirdest. For some reason, many people, me included, like to share what they’re doing with the whole world and use statuses like “Taking a shower” or, I don’t know.. “Watching a movie”. And then comes another dyslexic friend of mine (yes, I have many of those.. especially when writing dyslexic material) all confused and stuff asking me all kinds of weird questions. “Why are you shaking a tower? Have you lost your mind? What’s the purpose of that?” or “What the hell is a wovie?? And WHY are you matching it??”

Sometimes I would engage in a conversation with him and I’d immediately regret it, cause these chats are reaaally confusing. Advice: NEVER chat with a dyslexic person if you don’t know that “life sucks” is an anagram for “I fuck less”. I mean it. This is of critical importance.

Me: Hey!
D: Waht’s up?
Me: I’m single again. Life sucks.
D: I fuck less, too.
Me: Yeah.. me too. I fuck less.
D: I hear you, bro.. life sucks.
Me: What?
D: Waht?
D: Sorry.. pyto.
Me: What??
D: Waht r u? Redarted?
D: Ooosp.. pyto again.
(Thinking.. “WHAT???”).
Me: Good talk, dude. Talk later.
(”Like, in a couple of years, FFS!”)
D:    Bye!
Me: Actually, wait a minute. This always puzzled me: how come “dyslexia” is such a hard word to spell?
D: Waht? I cannot process that, dude. thiS!!
Me: Uhm.. yeah.. thanks!

Thanks, eberyvody!
Oh, and.. don’t forget. Dyslexics are teople, poo!

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    Articole asemanatoare:
  1. Shakespeare facand stand-up comedy?!
  2. Saptamana in care nu am tinut cont de statistici
  3. Alegeri 2009
  4. Ta-daaa: I do stand-up

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6 Comments

  1. Posted December 9, 2008 at 12:48 am | Permalink

    are you lomming with me in condo..n?

  2. curarelobi
    Posted December 9, 2008 at 7:19 am | Permalink

    e un singur ‘m’ in “coming’ si n-am inteles partea cu punctele de suspensie.

  3. stefania
    Posted December 9, 2008 at 5:05 pm | Permalink

    atunci inseamna ca sunt eu prea complicata :) )

  4. curarelobi
    Posted December 9, 2008 at 6:22 pm | Permalink

    btw, te-au acceptat?

  5. Posted December 10, 2008 at 5:46 pm | Permalink

    maine dimineata ma duc sa pun lista de intrebari si daca imi convin raspunsurile semnez agency agreementu’ :)

  6. curarelobi
    Posted December 10, 2008 at 5:47 pm | Permalink

    iti tin pumnii!!!

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