Slay the monster within

mistressesknightI promised myself that I would not write posts on sensitive subjects when I feel down. That’s simply because I learned that when you have a crappy day, the last thing you want to do is let that lousy feeling take over and affect your actions. I’m having a great day today so I’ve decided it’s the perfect time to tackle a dark subject.
I’ve seen and experienced some disturbing shit in my life, especially during childhood. Things seem to have settled down in the past years, but you never know what life has in store for you. The thing is, I used to bitch about how tough and unfair my life was. To myself and a select circle of friends. Of course I did, I was just a kid. But what about right now, when I’m 27 years old? Am I gonna let all those buried experiences surface? Are you?

I had an epiphany one day, as I was walking in my hometown with a friend. He bumped into an ex school mate of his and they engaged in a short chat. At one point, I learned that the guy had the same problem in his life as I did. What struck me was the fact that he was talking about a thing I would never talk about in front of someone I don’t know. There was no emotion in his voice, he was a bit bitter, but he talked about it like it was some minor annoyance. Then I thought: “man, his life must really suck, he probably has way more problems than I do”. Shallow thought, but it worked at that time. And there you go, lesson learned. Most people had dark episodes in their lives, even if they aren’t transparent to everyone else. It doesn’t matter whether they were self-inflicted or they were caused by other factors: they somehow managed to get over them and move on.

That still doesn’t mean I stopped whining. But it so happened that some people opened up to me and shared some of the things that happened in their lives. Broken marriages between parents, one parent dead or supporting both parents. And these confessions helped enforce the idea that I must put what happened to me behind and not let it bring me down. As a matter of fact, as crazy as it sounds, I started looking for advantages in the shittiest situations. I started asking myself: “How can I turn this into a positive situation for me?”; “What have I learned from all this?”; “What aspects of my personality were affected in a positive way?”.

If you still think life is unfair and some people have it all, ask yourself this question: if you managed to bypass all the hurdles in your life and got to where you are right now, is it worth comparing yourself to others? Probably not, since those same people may admire some of your qualities. Then why would you give-in to depression or let simple things affect you? Because you had a rough life? That’s no excuse for turning boredom into depression. That’s no excuse for having anxiety in a certain situation, just because you made a fool of yourself in the same situation 10 years ago.

So do yourself a favor and remember to breathe. Kill your inner demons by having the strength to look back and laugh about the things that scare you. Whether it’s some tragedy in your family, some recurring nightmare you used to have, being made fun of at school, slay that monster and have absolutely no regrets.

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    Articole asemanatoare:
  1. Totusi, de ce scriu aici?
  2. Daca dumnezeu ar fi gamer
  3. Sinestezie
  4. Retrospectiva

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17 Comments

  1. stefania
    Posted November 29, 2008 at 6:13 pm | Permalink

    What monster??

  2. curarelobi
    Posted November 29, 2008 at 6:15 pm | Permalink

    Within

  3. curarelobi
    Posted November 29, 2008 at 6:15 pm | Permalink

    Or have you already slain it? :D

  4. stefania
    Posted November 29, 2008 at 6:20 pm | Permalink
  5. Stefania
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 8:32 pm | Permalink

    Looks like I had another monster I wasn’t aware of the…. btw I like how you write in english, and you’re more inspiring

  6. Catalin
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 9:10 pm | Permalink

    And what monster is that?

  7. Posted January 30, 2009 at 9:12 pm | Permalink

    I wrote my last article about it

  8. Posted January 31, 2009 at 12:05 am | Permalink

    and then I deleted it… bacause people don’t deserve to read about other’s monsters :)

  9. Posted February 4, 2009 at 2:00 am | Permalink

    Ce dracu faceti ma aici? Va murdarirati de engleza pe bot? :) )))

  10. Catalin
    Posted February 4, 2009 at 9:19 am | Permalink

    Nu ti-a placut? :P

  11. Posted February 26, 2009 at 10:21 pm | Permalink

    This song is not available in your country :( Chiar eram curioasa ce cantec e si sa il “pun deoparte” pentru momentele proaste. Recomand si eu o melodie: Madeleine Peyroux – Smile. Uite aici varianta cantecului in interpretarea lui Connie Talbot care e absolut emotionanta: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ3ovip0tPE&feature=related

  12. Catalin
    Posted February 26, 2009 at 10:34 pm | Permalink

    Am updatat linkul. Poti sa sari peste introducere.. incepe abia dupa un minut melodia.

  13. Posted October 29, 2009 at 7:07 pm | Permalink

    Mie chiar imi place postul asta si m-a pus pe ganduri, ba chiar am avut o mica revelatie cand l-am citit.
    Good job! ;)

  14. Catalin
    Posted October 29, 2009 at 7:33 pm | Permalink

    Merci mult. :)
    A picat la tanc comentariul tau, pentru ca am recitit articolul asta si m-a facut un pic sa zambesc, desi nu-s in cea mai buna stare acum. Mentally and physically: cred ca am facut gripa. :|

  15. Posted October 29, 2009 at 7:52 pm | Permalink

    Si articolul tau a picat la tanc, pentru ca nici eu nu-s in cea mai buna stare. Desi e mai rau fizic decat mental. :(
    Baga ceaiuri si pastile >:D<

  16. Catalin
    Posted October 29, 2009 at 8:12 pm | Permalink

    Merci. Inseamna ca ne-am facut un bine reciproc. :)

  17. Posted October 29, 2009 at 8:19 pm | Permalink

    yep :)

One Trackback

  1. By Epiphanies « A blog on evolution on November 30, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    [...] After that I started noticing all kinds of patterns in people I met. Similarly, I wrote in a previous post that people are more fucked up than you think. I guess another way to put it is.. everybody wears a [...]

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